For years I’ve wondered: Why am I treated like an idiot because I have a vagina? If you removed everything else and put my brain in a tank that gave out information, would it be taken more seriously than if it was housed in this body? (Answer: DEFINITELY.)
When can I live in a world where some schmuck at a store doesn’t look me up and down, linger on my breasts, and patronize me when I ask a question?
How do I get treated like I’m as smart as any man?
I launched two different websites, posted over a dozen videos that got thousands of views, been on the news, spoke with senators, helped mobilize activists, raised 14K, launched ACA Sign Up Events, hired staff, managed volunteers, published 30 blog posts daily - first draft only, created/scripted/filmed an ACA “commercial” in less than a week - after being in the hospital for 5 days - while on IV antibiotics (which make you feel like shit) that got over 50k views. Helped save our healthcare system. And got a personal thank you letter from a United States Senator.
I did all of this while my body kept breaking down and I had to find ways to stay alive.
And that was just in 2017.
Even in the LAST FEW WEEKS, I’ve been patronized by men* that know my work credentials. Over and over and over again. My ND doctor just did it - and I was clarifying something HE SHOULD HAVE ALREADY TOLD ME.
My biggest pet peeve is when a man patronizes me because he *thinks* I don’t understand him. Even though HE is the one that is not being the clear communicator. I used to teach toddlers how to cook. I may not be the greatest communicator in intimate relationships. But when it comes to the rest of life? It’s my jam.
The thing that sucks the most is that our culture punishes women who *brag* about their intelligence and prowess.
Men* are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want about how awesome they are, all day long. “I’m going to crush you today on the court!” “I killed it at the sales meeting today bro!” “Baby, I’m a GENIUS, listen to what I did at work…”
But women? Lord help her. And if you’re an attractive woman who is cocky about her accomplishments? Forget about it. Cold bitch. Total cunt. Ice queen.
It’s as if a warm, loving woman can’t also be a kick-ass, super smart leader. Why are those things considered mutually exclusive in our culture?
I have to say in this area, I find women are less supportive than men.
Women can be so so cruel to other women. I try to tread carefully.
But I'm 46 now and could be dead in a few years. The world is falling apart.
We can’t really afford to be quiet about what we can accomplish anymore.
I remind myself of the Mandela/Wiliamson quote: The more proud I am, the more free other women will feel about sharing their intelligence and accomplishments.
I have to be the change. I can’t expect others to change for me.
I’m just so tired of apologizing for speaking up. Or for sharing my ideas. Or for being smart.
How on EARTH can we elect female leaders if we’re shaming them about touting their accomplishments? This is *finally* changing.
But my G-D! Think about what had to happen in order to get women to feel comfortable running for office!? Proudly stating their qualifications!!
I often wonder about the IQ of the people in DC running our country.
Is it really that hard to believe that…I know this will be hard for some, but not for my guy friends…we might be smarter?
*Men give us the keys to their home kingdom without hesitation. They let us run the house and their schedule, manage the kids, the bills, the EVERYTHING.
And we do it all. While managing five hundred other projects AND working.
But woah….to put a woman in charge of the WHITE house? Well, I don’t know about that. She has a VAGINA. What could she possibly know about running a COUNTRY?
I mean, sure, the morons could stay in charge...and most likely destroy the planet.
Or, we could work together to elect a bunch of kick-ass smart women to do what they’ve done since the beginning of time.
Clean up the mess.
You know what would be awesome? If the dudes pitched in. At the very least, promote and donate to female candidates!! That would be very, very post-patriarchal....
*When I refer to "men" as a whole, I’m referring to white cis straight men unless otherwise noted. Sorry to my gay, trans, men of color if I’ve offended you in earlier posts.