My Online Memorial "30 Stories of Life Before Disability" #JulesStories

Transforming from an independent, able-bodied working gal into a dependent, unemployed disabled person has been the most traumatic experience of my life. Worse than chemo. Worse than surgery. Worse than anything.

At least during those experiences, I knew they'd be over in a finite amount of time. They would end, and I'd either live or die. 

This. This has been the biggest mind-fuck of all. I kept thinking over and over again that I would get back to my old self, or close to it. So many times, I used the analogy of trying to swim back to shore. For years, I kept swimming toward a shore that seemed to get further away instead of closer. 

It was only this summer that I realized that I wasn't getting any closer to that shore of my previous life because I would never, ever get there.

Instead, I was marooned on an island for the Disabled. It's been the most humbling and eye-opening experience of my life.

When I felt like I couldn't go on this past summer, it was because I couldn't go on WITH THAT SAME OUTLOOK/PERSPECTIVE/PERSONALITY of the able-bodied person I was. I had to let her go. And embrace the outlook/perspective/personality of my newly Disabled Self. That's the only way to get through this.

I felt like I had to honor the woman I used to be before I let her go. So I wrote 30 stories from my able-bodied life leading up to 2013. Here are links to each post

I was miserable when I was hot 1a

I felt like an alien 2a

I like being aggressive 3a

I hate the drug prednisone 4a

I so weird 5a

I lived in Lake Placid 6a

I worked on a kibbutz 7a

He wanted to buy me 8a

I visited concentration camps in Poland 9a

I went to grad school 10a

I was a disco angel 11a

I've always been a mama 12a

I was one of the guys 13a

I went to Costa Rica alone 14a

I lived in NYC on 9/11 15a

I loved being slutty 16a

I landed my dream job 17a

I was on the Today Show 18a

I got a tattoo in Brazil 19a

I was an awful dater 20a

I jumped out of a plane 21a

I was on Sesame Street 22a

I started my business 23a

I worked for Dr. Oz 24a

I became an auntie 25a

I spoke at conferences 26a

I went to the White House 27a

I published a cookbook 28a

I got melanoma 29a

I moved to California 30a

Thanks for reading this far! I'll be sharing more stories in the near future. Right now I'm doing everything I can to prevent the government from repealing the Affordable Care Act so I can stay covered and alive! 

Stay tuned for the next batch of stories.... 

Much love,
Jules