I can't think straight 4.16.19

I can't think straight 4.16.19

I didn’t buy the beet infused yogurt shown in the photo. I don’t know why. It would be good to try to get the beet nutrients as well as the fat and protein in the yogurt in this body. I’ve decided, I’m going to get it next time I’m at this store.

It’s just that I have so much fear around food now! It’s so frustrating to feel this way after years of enjoying so much incredible food during my culinary career.

When I had the inflammatory bowel disease in my twenties, I also had a lot of fear around food. This is not a surprise! Pain will certainly cause aversion to foods. At this point in my life, if I even look at hot macaroni and cheese - my system has never done well with hot cheese and wheat long before the 2014 surgery - my stomach clenches.

It’s not easy for people newly diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease to omit foods from their diet. But I always encourage them to give it a try. Often, they feel so much better off certain foods that they tell me they feel the same way when they think about eating something that causes pain. Not worth it.

There were so many things I could

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I went to the dentist 4.3.19

I went to the dentist 4.3.19

It happened.

I knew it was coming. I ran into an old friend - we’ve known each other so long I can’t remember when we met, adolescence - and I didn’t get the “you look good.”

Granted, as soon as she said “Julie!” I fell into her arms like a kid. I just feel so safe with her, and I do things like that now, not necessarily socially acceptable “normal” things.

I chatted with her for a few minutes and felt so happy I got to see her and her lovely husband and kid.

They said nothing about my outside which is unusual these days.

When I got home, I looked in the mirror and realized that my hips are gone. I mean, they are still there! But not the way they’ve been for most of my adult life. I’ve always had hips! My frame is noticeable different.

This is a tough one for me to talk about because so many people struggle with body image issues and consider weight loss a “good” thing.

But for me? Shrinking is not the goal!

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