The days speed up 9.1.19

The days speed up 9.1.19

I gained three pounds!

Ok, so I peed a little later and lost two of them. But still!

I’m reluctant to share this part of my journey because there are so many people who struggle so much with weight issues and body image.

But it’s part of the deal in this strange life of mine. Being nervous about losing weight is part of my disabled experience.

I’ve been hanging onto the photos from the last few months because I haven’t felt ready to share this different version of myself. But this photo wanted out today so here it is.

I bought these swim shorts after the melanoma surgery when I was heavier than I’ve ever been so these are two of the extreme sizes I’ve ever been at - I took this last week so I’m actually “bigger” here than I was in July, that was a baaad month. I’ve gone up and down on my weight for my entire life. I’m very short so even a few pounds can alter how I look. Also, I should note that I often buy pants that are too big because I’ve never liked having anything too tight at my waist so many years of having stomach issues. It drives the salesgirls nuts, they’re always encouraging one size and I’m like noooooo…give me the ones that have a lot of room in the waist.

I like to be comfortable!

Still, these shorts.

Sigh.

It’s weird. It’s weird to have

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