I hate feeling so overwhelmed 5.11.19

I hate feeling so overwhelmed 5.11.19

I don’t feeling writing here today.

I can’t stop sleeping, which is exactly what I need. I took a full Xanax last night which I almost never do. But I’m so desperate for a long, heavy sleep, I did it. It makes me tired the whole next day which I opted for so that I’d keep myself “down” today.

I have such a hyper personality that it’s challenging for me to hold myself back. I want to do SO many things before I die! Which I think we can keep at bay for awhile longer, now that I have my calorie intake steady again and better IV nutrition on the way. And juicing! I think my system has slowly allowed me to incorporate in.

I’m still very aware that my time on Earth is likely going to be short. There’s so much I want to do! So many words that want to be said!

It’s important that I reign in my urge to get shit done while on the fluticasone drug that is a bit of an upper. It’s not in the same class of steroids as prednisone which REALLY jacks you up. I remember when my uncle was on prednisone when he was going through chemo many years ago. My aunt would find him working in the garage at all hours of the night. I don’t remember being super hyper when I was on it but I’m sure I was.

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