Taking a moment to BREATHE 5.2.19

Taking a moment to BREATHE 5.2.19

I realized I feel less frenetic than I have in quite some time.

Though my diet shrank, whatever was causing the worst of the symptoms starting in mid-February seems to have calm down. I’m holding the current weight steady. My dad is…well, he’s hanging in there. They had to take him off the immunotherapy because his lungs overreacted to it and caused a ton of coughing. He’s now on prednisone! I keep warning him that he’s going to feel like he can climb Mt. Everest, but you know how that kind of advice goes over with parents. I have a doctor team in place, in case things get bad again.

But they saw his doctor early this morning and he seems hopeful that they can take care of my dad. I, of course, don’t trust any medical people easily. But he is highly recommended at SCCA and he’s really kind to my dad. That matters a lot.

I know that another shoe could drop.

Read More

I don't miss old me 4.25.19

I don't miss old me 4.25.19

I’ve eaten 5 eggs this week. Oh joy! Of course, I’ve been downing the high protein almond milk and broth and whatever else I can get down, but DANG sometimes I can’t believe how much I end up doing with so little food. The body is a truly remarkable organism.

I’m tired now but if I want to eat eggs, I’ll have to do some Movement tonight. The choice between food and rest is always a tough one. I usually choose food!

This photo is from my old life in New York City. I had a photographer friend take “professional” photos which I planned on using for my own business. Maybe I did use this photo.

I dreamed of launching my own business for my entire life. Even as a kid, there was no allure for me to do the “keeping house” bit since I was already doing that as a small kid. No thank you to cleaning and taking care of kids all day, I remember thinking around 8 years old. Thankfully, there was just enough culture changes happening around me to know that I didn’t necessarily have to DO the typical path.

In 2008, I decided to leave my sweet job running a culinary program and work for myself. I knew so many freelancers in New York City, I knew it was possible to go that route.

Read More

I got out of the house 3.2.19

I had a weird day yesterday March 2nd. I’m writing this the next day - I have to be transparent about that - my brain can’t do the usual social media organizing, writing ahead, post this then blah blah blah. I don’t care about any of that anymore. Couldn’t care less about the number of followers, all that bullshit. I never really did. I just have to post and write and say what I need to post and write and say. It’s strange to me that people think I WOULD care.

My needs and wants are relatively simple these days: I want to be able to eat, shit and stay alive.

It was a decent day - I got out of bed and wanted to be in the sunshine so I went to Capitol Hill to get some vegan ice cream from Sugar Plum. It’s an awesome little plant-based dessert place. The young woman was super interesting to chat with.

When I’ve been cooped up and in bed for days, I’ll run a really basic errand to stay connected to the outer world. I never know when I’ll have energy so it makes it challenging to make plans with people. Plus engaging is tiring, so if I’m not in the mood to chat, I can run the errand, feel productive and go home. Sometimes I want a little conversation.

Read More