The warm weather is tough 5.5.19

When my hands crack open it is not the same as when an able-bodied person’s hands crack open. They’ll have some sore hands. MINE MEANS MY ORGANS AREN’T GETTING WHAT THEY NEED.

When my hands crack open it is not the same as when an able-bodied person’s hands crack open. They’ll have some sore hands. MINE MEANS MY ORGANS AREN’T GETTING WHAT THEY NEED.

I used to love Cinco de Mayo. Strangely, I can’t remember any in particular.

Actually, that’s probably not so strange. I don’t like a like of cocktails - I’m a beer girl at heart - but I do love margaritas.

I’m very tired today. This warm weather is already wreaking havoc on my sensitive system. FUCK!!! I didn’t have to start taking the fluticasone until end of June last year. I’m already on two liters per day now and STILL drying out like mad. The weather didn’t used to be this warm so early in May!

Fuck climate change. And fuck all the people who keep pretending it’s not real. People like me will die as the weather inches up, while far too many people keep acting like they aren’t also at risk.

It’s so strange to me when people are in denial about how a destroyed habitat will affect the animals living in that habitat.

We think we’re so smart, humans. But I think we’re the only animals that are stupid enough to destroy our own habitat, while sipping our lattes in single-use cups, and planning our 7th plane trip for the year, without considering the impact those flights have on the atmosphere.

No biggie!!!

Meanwhile, my hands hurt! I know, I’m such a big baby. I’m out of my homemade shea butter concoction which isn’t helping! I’ve got to get on that stat. I can’t live without it for most months out of the year, but now especially.

I forgot that when it gets this warm, around 70 and above, my blood pressure drops faster and further making me extra tired. I went out with my IV bag ON today and my body felt I wasn’t taking anything in. I’m going to have to increase my oral fluids too.

I really, really don’t want to take the fluticasone so early. It makes me edgy (HELLO, like I need more of that in my life), harder to sleep (AGAIN, don’t need anything that adds to that), and ok, just some vanity: it fucks up my skin. Which I already have from taking so many hormones.

FYI, it’s never a good idea to antagonize me when I’m adjusting my testosterone -that’s like a serious public health warning. Granted, if you want to send me to DC to have a little talk with the assholes, ask me to bump that dose up. I’ll admit: I like it. I like feeling strong. The wrong amounts of estrogen just make me cry.

It’s fucked up how little they assess hormones when investigating someone’s mental health. I’ve found it fascinating and also, a little disturbing, how easy it is to adjust so many things based on a slight dosage change. Skin, mood, sleep, energy - so many things! I get why so many docs won’t manage them. It’s SUPER confusing! And I’m ok at a lot of this stuff since I’ve been studying it basically for 20+ years.

But hormones! Whew! It’s been five years now and I’m just getting the hang of figuring out how to find the right dosages. I figured I would find the right dose, and boom, I’m done.

Since my frame has been changing, however, my hormone needs change a bit too.

Also….you know, I’m just too tired to keep typing. And I’ve got to get on the treadmill. I have a very busy week, new doctor appointment tomorrow I’m worried about. Though, I’m super grateful my friend Renee is taking me to the appointment. I think this is the expensive lady that specializes in gastro, women’s health and something else important to me.

Brain is fading. Time to walk.

Much love,