WARNING: graphic video content 4.24.19

This video was filmed last February, 2018. I had this procedure done yesterday after I had another appointment so it was a long day. Yesterday’s first appointment was my visceral massage appointment. Some days, the massage can feel relaxing. But other days, when things aren’t right inside of me, it can be uncomfortable. I’ll explain more about visceral massage in another post!

Today, I want to cover neural therapy. A lot of people make assumptions about the naturopathic / functional medicine world. That we’re doing “woo-woo” type healing.

Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, neural therapy was developed in Europe and is considered standard treatment for issues around pain and scar tissue. Many treatments in the “alternative” world are based in hard science and rely on hard data from very specific lab draws.

It’s been a long and arduous journey to get the mainstream world to accept that many treatment methods embraced in the alternative medical community fucking WORK. Allopathic medicine (mainstream) is often sorely outdated and treatment methods are dictated by the pharmaceutical companies drive for profit, rather than what actually helps the patient. Here is a little overview of neural therapy from this article:

“Neural therapy is based on the theory that any trauma, infection, or surgery can damage the autonomic nervous system and produce long-standing disturbances in the electrochemical or electromagnetic functions of tissues.3 If there is a disturbance of the autonomic nervous system, the resulting dysfunction can last indefinitely unless repaired. When the autonomic nervous system is injured or not functioning correctly, various consequences result. An example is blood flow going out of synch with demand in an area that needs it, such as a soft tissue injury, thus resulting in incomplete healing. It has been reported that ‘a correctly applied neural therapy injection can often instantly and permanently resolve chronic long-standing illness and chronic pain.’”

I’ve had friends that have gotten this therapy for bladder issues after giving birth (she is European where it’s more commonly used). My doctor says he’s also given it to people with significant scar tissue from accidents so in the neck and back. It can help increase blood flow to areas with a lot of scar tissue. All I know is that it makes me poop easier! I’ll do anything for that!

Of course, mainstream medicine is “skeptical” about these types of things.

Even worse, it is especially irritating when people with zero medical background are dismissive about treatment methods that they know nothing about - but because it’s not “endorsed” by our dysfunctional, outdated medical community, then it must be weird and ineffective.

As if leeching and blood letting doesn’t serve as history of an allopathic medical community with bizarre practices that later proved to be useless, and even harmful. I wish people knew a little more about medical history, especially in the United States and how healing used to be “women’s work.” Until the white man decided he wanted to be in charge and overtook the field. It explains a lot about the foundation of our current dysfunctional medical system!

In any event, I had this done last year and noticed an improvement in bowel function. We had a few sessions, I did ok for summer and then the fall happened.

Fall, 2019 was not a good one! Between my dad’s lung cancer and stroke (he’s already had stomach and colon cancer - he has no stomach now and most of his colon removed - but he’s a strong dude that’s always had better digestion than me so he’s done all right with that. The lung cancer and stroke have beaten him down….for anyone new to my story, I got the Lynch Syndrome from him!) and my infected PICC line which Medicare was being fussy about treating, I feel like I’ve never fully recovered from the onslaughts. Both mentally and physically.

Since my GI has been SO bad since February, I decided to do the neural therapy again. I didn’t film this round because I know how painful it is and I had this one in my phone already.

I can’t help but notice how much healthier I look just one year ago! My skin is so much better. I get that aging is a normal part of life, but it’s not easy when there are so many medical hits that impact my overall health. I use skin as a barometer for internal health so when I see old photos from not that long ago, I’m struck by how many hits my body has gone through in a relatively short amount of time.

It’s a tough video to watch. I kind of wish I hadn’t watched it because now I know what exactly he is doing with that needle! And damn, it hurt yesterday. FUCK so bad. BUT, after the procedure, my GI system starts working overtime! I find so much relief from the procedure - I had it done a few weeks ago and it helped a LOT - that I’m willing to endure pain for 15-20 minutes if it means less pain over the span of days, weeks, maybe even months.

I guess it “resets” the automatic nervous system. Since I had such a strong reaction, especially these last two visits, that means the automatic nervous system has definitely been impaired. I don’t know much about the nervous system. My wheelhouse has been GI tract, inflammation, autoimmune illness, cancer, and nutrition for most of the last 20 years.

In our fucked up medical system, it is essential to become an expert on our own conditions. I often learn more from other patients than I do from doctors! I’m working on figuring out a way for us to communicate with each other because who knows? Maybe another patient knows of something that can help improve the actual structural issues within my gut and abdomen.

Of course, I had to pay for this procedure out of pocket because mainstream would never cover something like this. But if I want narcotics for pain, they’ll pay in full! Hmmm…..what does that say about priorities?

A medical system that’s all about profit is NEVER going to prioritize the patient and their needs. It’s always going to skew toward the goal of the companies that control the puppet strings. This is the core of what’s wrong in our medical system.

It’s driven by greed.

People like my dad and me are left trying to navigate the labyrinth of bureaucratic bullshit in order to get even simple procedures like…say, a CHEST XRAY after having LUNG SURGERY. Or, getting rid of a clot in a PICC line. Both of which, my dad and I have had to fight tooth and nail for.

I have my appointment today with the new primary doctor I met a couple of weeks ago to discuss iv nutrition. I’m SO nervous to go down that route.

But I’m more nervous if I don’t.

I wish I could explain what it’s like to deal with so much pain, struggle and death looming. On the one hand, it forces me to titrate down to what’s really important. On the other, it fucking sucks! It’s a hellish existence. Then, when medical people or others don’t BELIEVE how bad it is or what my experience really is, omg, that just tips me over the edge.

I don’t know what will happen in this next chapter. I don’t know how long I can live on my current 800 calorie diet. I don’t know how long I can handle the pain and frustration.

I don’t know much!

I only know I’m not ready to leave this world yet. As fucked up and dysfunctional as it is, there’s still a lot of beauty and joy and learning and people and teaching that I enjoy too much to say goodbye.

Whether I’ll be given a choice in the matter or not moving forward remains to be seen.

I can’t help but wonder how many complex medical patients are struggling like me.

I can’t help but wonder if they have the resources that I have.

I can’t help but wonder how long I’ll have to holler before I am believed.

All those people that had #metoo moments weren’t believed for so long.

For now, I keep going. I’m so tired, I don’t know how I’m going to get through this appointment and I really want to go to my therapy appointment today at 5pm. I will likely have to call her from bed and do the appointment while laying down at home. She’s fine with it but it’s nice to be able to go in and do it face to face.

There’s a lot to discuss!

How do we manage facing our own death?

I still haven’t written back my lawyer friend who sent me another lawyer who can draft a will and power of attorney for me. He sounded so sad to be passing along the information. Of course, it is sad.

But I have to be realistic these days and prepare for all possibilities.

For now, I will continue to share my experiences and as much knowledge as possible via my website so that if something happens, at least some of the info in my brain will live on. I’ve got to at least try.

Oh, that reminds me, I’ll have to make sure my squarespace account continues to be paid for if something happens to me. So many details when preparing for the worst.

I need to shut my eyes for a moment before my ride picks me up. Thank GOODNESS for my drivers. My word, I don’t know how I would be getting through all of this without them! Not only do I get to conserve energy on my limited diet by not having to expend it navigating the shit traffic of Seattle. But I also get fantastic company along the way. It’s very good for my mental health!

Podcast is coming! I was a little slow this week. I was planning on sharing one on trauma recovery and somehow I made one about vanilla sex instead! I needed something that wasn’t dark and heavy this week!

Fingers crossed for doctor appointment. Sorry if this video disturbed anyone. I have no idea if anyone is even reading these posts which makes me feel less anxious even though I know the goal is to get my story out in the world! It’s weird to do things that most people are super competitive about and I’m like meh, what will be, will be.

Until next time!

Much love,