I’m far from being the first person to write about Amanda Hesser’s New York Times op-Ed article that gave Michelle Obama a hard time for not promoting cooking. Lettuce Eat Kale wrote a thoughtful post about it and ended the entry asking a valid question: how important is it that the First Couple cook meals for their children? Gastropoda and Eat Me Daily were a little more direct and dished it right back to Hesser, pointing out that there are plenty of people cooking on TV already and that it’s a bit of a throwback to suggest that the First Lady spend time in the kitchen.

I admit, as a cooking teacher, my first instinct upon reading Hesser’s piece was that I was glad that someone brought up the importance of cooking, which is a natural partner of gardening but often gets lost in the discussion. However, after a lively online conversation with two colleagues, Lauren Slayton, (nutritionist and owner of Foodtrainers) and Sarah Abrams (chef and cooking teacher), we all decided that Hesser’s message could have been more tactful and offered more realistic, positive suggestions for Michelle Obama and others who don’t like to cook.

Everyone’s reactions were very understandable - it’s easy to feel protective of Michelle Obama and the incredible work she has done by promoting organic, local, and seasonal food by starting a garden AND having local elementary kids work on it. It’s easy for someone like Amanda Hesser, or even myself, who love cooking so much that we made a career out of it to point fingers, but what if cooking does NOT make you happy? How important is it for parents to provide home cooked meals for their children if they can still find a way to feed them well?

With childhood obesity on the rise – is it really the job of our First Lady to provide a retro role model? Perhaps the USDA and the Child Nutrition Reauthorization Act that’s up for re-signing this year could shoulder some of the responsibility. Maybe there could be more funding for schools to have gardens and kids to learn how to cook at school – instead of continuously slashing education budgets and keeping vending machines and junk foods in schools. I would hope that some other people and agencies within our government besides Michelle Obama could take this on.

When all is said and done, I think we are very lucky to have her on “our side.” She has legitimized the work of many of my colleagues by simply planting a pesticide-free garden. For someone who doesn’t like to cook, she has done a phenomenal job of promoting healthy living by her regular workouts and making a point of feeding her children nutritious foods. If parents are able to find a way to provide healthy meals for their children, with or without a White House staff, that should be enough.

So, for those parents who like being in the kitchen the same way I like to clean bathtubs, here are some tips on how to keep your families healthy without turning on the stove:

Sign Your Kids Up for Cooking Classes. If it’s economically feasible for your family, find cooking classes that focus on dishes with healthy ingredients (not just muffins and cookies) which can be a great way to expose kids to the world of cooking and nutritious foods without actually doing it with them. (I couldn’t help putting this suggestion first!)

Create Your Own Cooking Class, for Free. Find a family member or another parent who likes to cook and have cooking play dates.

Take Your Kids to the Farmer’s Market. Explore the market together and allow each child to buy a new fruit or vegetable and if they can read, have them find a recipe online that doesn’t entail much preparation like fruit salad. They can prepare the food while you supervise – this pays off as they get older and can cook full meals for you…

Explore New Cuisines while Eating Out. When eating in restaurants, forgo the kiddie menus and encourage your kids to try new dishes with unique and nutritious ingredients off of the main menu.

Keep it Raw. My mom always kept sliced fruit and vegetables on the lowest shelf in the fridge making it easy for us to nibble on melon, strawberries, carrots and celery after school. A lot of produce can be safely cut with a butter knife, so have the kids help out.

Hire a Chef. I know this isn’t possible for many families, especially these days, but perhaps there is a culinary student who will take a reduced fee or a college student in the area who could cook in exchange for housing or meals. I have a friend who offers a low rent to a grad student who, in return, helps prepare dinner and take care of her son. In times like this, there are lots of barter scenarios that are a win-win for everyone!

Until last summer, I ran a culinary program for over five years straight, often working until 10pm at night. Cooking for pleasure was a rarity – I’d prepare a dish for a dinner party I was attending or bake a cake for a friend’s birthday. That didn’t mean I ate poorly. In fact, I was spoiled. I was fed delicious meals by my chef instructors and students late at night or I’d go out to eat in great restaurants. Students would ask me if I cooked my dinner every night and I’d laugh out loud. Like many people in the culinary profession, I ate odd meals at odd hours.

It wasn’t until I moved back to Seattle last fall, though, that I realized what I was missing. While in New York, I was surrounded by some of the best food in the world. And yet, I didn’t feel truly fed until I moved back home and ate my family’s cooking – and my own cooking.

For the first time in many years, I’m now cooking for pleasure on a regular basis – even though, for the most part, I’m testing recipes for my cookbook. Yet, it feels like pleasure because I run the leftovers over to my grateful brother and sister-in-law or cook for friends or my parents. Right now, I have dough rising for a pizza recipe and I just finished sautéing the mushrooms. It’s gorgeous outside – a well deserved sunny, 70 degrees in Seattle – and yet I don’t mind being inside kneading dough, listening to the birds chirp. It’s while making the dough – something I did a thousand times back in New York – that I remember why I fell in love with cooking in the first place. It is one of the only activities that slows down my overactive mind – I’m able to actually be in the moment and I feel more relaxed than I do during a massage (during which, for whatever reason, I stress about things I should be doing).

I keep thinking about what my 5 year old student, Tabitha said during the Sesame Street segment. Kids are so smart – only a small child could say something so profound while talking to a puppet. After being asked what it’s like to eat her own cooking, she says, “It feels good because you’re tasting the food that you made, instead of tasting somebody else’s.” Out of the mouth of babes!

I think that lately, we view cooking as a lot more difficult than it really is – maybe because of the sophisticated dishes that are always on television. Over the last 10 years, everything in our lives has become more complicated, including the culinary scene.

Cooking doesn’t need to be an all-day affair – adding to your already stressful lives. In fact, it can actually help relieve your stress. Even grilling a piece of fish and some asparagus and making couscous – all of which would take about 20 minutes, can do wonders to separate you from the busy, chaotic feeling of the workday and the relaxation we all need in the evening. I really notice a difference in how I feel both mentally and physically when I eat my own cooking. I feel more energetic, more nurtured, more satisfied – or, even that elusive word we can never seem to truly pin down: happy. I can’t explain it. I don’t have any scientific evidence. I just know it’s true.

I was talking to my friend, Alex, about this concept because he prefers his own cooking to eating out. And he said that for  him,  it’s a sense of accomplishment when he cooks a full meal – and he said that maybe it’s satisfying the human need to sit around the fire and share a meal like we’ve done throughout history. I had to agree. We have such overflowing Inboxes both at home and at work on projects that are never ending – maybe creating a meal from start to finish makes us feel like we accomplished something with our day. So, on top of eating healthier and saving money,  we can also add “feeling accomplished” and “happy” to what we get out of cooking at home.

So, try making a full meal for yourself and/or your family . It doesn’t need to be complicated, it just needs to be yours. Make note of how you feel during the time you prepare it, when you are eating it and the hours and days afterward. Perhaps all of this fuss and confusion about what to eat isn’t just about calories and labeling – it’s about how to nourish ourselves. And I think a good place to start figuring that out is in the kitchen.

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Since I try to keep these posts under 6,000 words (note: sarcasm), you can find a new recipe on my website, Lentil Salad with Sherry Red Wine Vinaigrette. It’s delicious! Enjoy.